Front lines vs. Behind the scene

Just did some more development related work for NGR. Turns out the last development lady quit (nobody told me, I was so confused about where she went!) and they just hired a new person. He graduated from my high school three years before me, then Loyola. He is like practically my age! It gives me confidence, hope. I can do this type of work! I am qualified (or will be shortly when I get that stupid piece of paper). Anyways, that makes me feel good. I drafted up a donation request letter and did some research on an Americorps grant we want to apply for. Grant writing is SO complicated and frustrating. Especially federal grants. They are certainly not going to make it easy to get that money- no such thing as a free lunch. For real. I don't know why I am attracted to this kind of work. Maybe because it puts me in pressure situations, where I work best. Maybe because its so vital- non profits don't exist without their grant writers. Maybe because its almost like a puzzle that must be figured out. Maybe because I would rather decipher contorted directions than deal with the actual people suffering from social injustice face to face. Being behind a desk in an office is easier psychologically then being out there on the front lines of non-profit work. Interesting things to think about, eh?